Worrer Day

He remembers travelling to the seaside in a car with his family.

Thi car’s standin ready evrithings stowed,
Babby’s got teddy thaz orl set foh t’road,
Thaz picked er nice day norrer cloud in t’ blue sky,
An certain ert way thi spirits leap ‘igh.
Avwi gohr everything bifoor wi set off?
Az grandma her medson foh that tickly cough?
Tha lets in t’clutch an gooin ert last,
Wisslin er choon thi worries seem past;
But thaz ardly left gate wen comes t’attack,
From er at thi side an them buggers in t’back,
Dog’s bit ould grandma, thi vision nar fades,
Kids er orl fratchin ovvert buckits ‘n’ spades;
“Its thy folt” sez t’wife, “wi gooin t’wrong way,
Kids er fed up an wantin t play,”
One upsets t’pop annit runs darn thi neck,
She’s got thi road map an demandin er check;
Another one’s yellin, eez bustin t pee,
Grandma is moanin an blames things on thee,
Thar grits thi teeth determined t try;
“Do summat”, tha sez, “like er game erv I Spy;”
But the dunt want t noe an weint play one game,
T sit an bi quiet foh them iz too tame,
Then thar starts t fume, thi temper az gone,
An threatens um orl. “Wi gooin back om !”
“Just like thi,” sez t’wife, “spoilin ar pleasure,
Wiv lukt forrad t this, er day wi cud treasure,”
But thi temper’s well frayed, thaz startin t shout,
Sick tert back teeth abserlutely played out.
But yer got theer ‘n’ back an menni years after,
Just mention that day an t’ouse rocks wi lafter

— John Davison