Gerram In

John describes an encounter between Matt and Tup.

“Ei Tup,” grins wily ould Matt,
“Wot’s longist oss race int Flat?”
“Int Flat racin season,” sez Tup,
“It’s gorra bi t’ Ascot Gold Cup.”
“Naw, it’s Grand National,” winks Matt,
“That’s longist race joorint Flat.”
“But that’s ovvert sticks,”smirks Tup,
“Er fiver sez t’Ascot Gold Cup;”
“Thee lukkert date,” sniggers Matt,
“A dint seh National woh flat !”
“Well, wot’s wettist,? Thee tell mi that,”
Sez Tup, smilin ert Matt,
“Wot’s wettist racecoorse the riz,
Tha must noe that, worritiz ?”
Sulks Matt, “a dunt noe, a geeup ;”
“Thaz erd ert Boat Race,” laffs Tup,
An thee gerram in av supped up !”

— John Davison